Bears down

Week 9: Cardinals 41, Bears 21


There's one word for what happened at Soldier Field on Sunday: embarrassing.

Exactly how many guys were the Bears playing defense with? Seven? Five? Or was it 11 guys moving in slow motion? It was one of the two. Had to be.

The Bears were starting a three-game stretch that would determine whether their game in Minnesota (Week 12) would truly matter from an NFC North standpoint. It won't.

In fact, the Vikings may have had one of the best weeks of any team, and they didn't even play. But the two teams chasing them--the Packers and Bears--lost. One to a previously winless team, and another in humiliating fashion.

What are Bears fans supposed to look to to make themselves feel good? The running game? No, it's nonexistent.

The offensive line? They wouldn't be able to keep The Hulk from getting sacked.

The secondary? Pathetic.

The ability to rush the passer? They can barely touch QBs, let alone tackle them.

Cutler and the passing attack? Not really.

Cutler's 80.8 QB rating ranks 20th in the NFL. His +3 TD/Int differential is worse than the likes of Carson Palmer, Matt Schaub, and Kyle Orton. Cutler's a solid quarterback, and I'm glad they have him for the next few years. But you can't pretend that he's anything like Tom Brady. Or Aaron Rodgers. Even Tony Romo's numbers are significantly better than Cutler's.

And where are Bears fans supposed to look for wins? Are you confident they'll beat the Niners in San Francisco this Thursday, in prime time? Do you think they'll beat the Eagles? They do have the Rams and Lions remaining on their schedule, but brace yourself because the second half of the season might be paved with frustration and failure.

Speaking of frustration, what the hell was Tommie Harris doing on the boneheaded play that earned him an ejection? He was benched earlier in the year, and apparently he thinks that's where he serves this team best. Or maybe he knew what was about to take place and wanted no part of it.

I guess the fact that they have to turn around and play in three days could either be great or terrible. Terrible because they need three months to analyze all their problems, not three days. But great because at least they don't have to spend a full week digesting that pile of you-know-what. And fortunately, neither do we.

See you Friday, hopefully with something better to say.

Major surprises

This year's golf majors were all about who didn't win.

On Sunday, Tiger Woods lost a major for the first time in 15 attempts when atop the leaderboard after the third round. Y.E. Yang, ranked 110th in the world, took advantage of some shoddy putting by the best golfer in the world to win for just the second time on the tour. He is the first Asian-born player to win a major.

The stunning comeback also marked Woods' first major-less year since 2004. So apparently he is human, though he's still won five of the 13 tournaments he's entered this year, and finished in the top 10 in three of the four majors.

Viewers probably should have expected the unexpected on Sunday given the way the year's first three majors ended.

First, 48-year-old Kenny Perry was on the verge of making history by becoming the oldest Masters champion, but folded up his tent a couple holes too early and lost to Angel Cabrera in a playoff. Phil Mickelson, not long after his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, was on the cusp of winning the U.S. Open until Lucas Glover came out of nowhere to win it. And then, at the British Open, 59-year-old Tom Watson had a putt on 18 that would have won it, but he missed it and then lost in a playoff to Stewart Cink.

The majors were anything but foregone conclusions this year, and a sport that sometimes lacks drama has had plenty of it in 2009. Congrats, Y.E. Yang, and Tiger--pull it together!

Adding injury to injury


Because the Mets just didn't have enough players on the DL, David Wright was hit in the head with a 94 mph fastball on Saturday and could be out for the year.

It's scary when we're reminded of the true danger professional athletes are in while at work. A fastball to the head, a tackle that bends the neck the wrong way, landing awkwardly after a contested layup--you hate to see injuries that require a hospital instead of just a trainer. In fact, two others players were hit in the head Saturday; both Texas' Ian Kinsler and the Dodgers' Hiroki Kuroda are doing okay after their respective beanings (Kuroda was hit with a batted ball while on the mound).

Zambrano has been "lazy"

Carlos Zambrano says he's been lazy about his ab workouts, which doctors say has contributed to his recurring back problems. It's great that he owned up to his dilatoriness, but now he needs to do what he said he will and commit to working out the way a $91 million investment should.

Orton hears a boo

After getting booed during training camp, Kyle Orton threw three interceptions in the Broncos' first preseason game. I'm pretty sure Orton shaved his beard, an act that I assumed would immediately turn him into a Pro Bowl-caliber quarterback. We'll see what happens when the real season starts.

Jay OK

The Bears have a quarterback.

Just let that sink in for a moment.

The Bears.

Have.

A quarterback.

"But, doesn't every football team have a quarterback?" you might be asking. Well, in theory, yes, but the Bears have historically been quite averse to this position. If you sit down to make a Top 10 List of Bears QBs, you quickly realize that this is an oxymoron, and that you don't need that 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper you're using--a Post-It will suffice.

Okay, okay, let's be fair--the Bears had 9-time All-Pro Sid Luckman back in the 40's. He won four championships and is a Hall of Famer, but this was before the Super Bowl even existed and also before color television.

"But we had Jim McMahon! Super Bowl champion Jim McMahon!" No. He does not count. In the '85-'86 Super Bowl season, McMahon threw 15 TD and 11 Int, and totaled just 2,392 yards (20 more than Kyle Orton last year). He got the job done, but it was the Bears defense that had the team doing the Super Bowl Shuffle.

How badly did the Bears need a quarterback? Here's where their QB rating has placed in the NFL the last six years (out of 32 teams):

2008: 26
2007: 27
2006: 25
2005: 31
2004: 32
2003: 31

So Bears GM Jerry Angelo took advantage of a situation gone awry in Denver, prying Pro Bowler Jay Cutler away from the Broncos in exchange for Kyle Orton, two first round draft picks, and a third round pick. Did they give up a lot? Yes. But they ensured they will have someone with an actual arm (with an elbow, and a wrist, and everything!) under center.

Now, Jay Cutler (the Bears quarterback!) isn't Peyton Manning or Tom Brady, but he ranked 15th last year in QB rating and 3rd in passing yards (behind Drew Brees and Kurt Warner). He threw for over 4,500 yards, is just 25 years old, and is signed for another three years. He threw for 25 TD last year, though his interceptions were a bit high (18). Orton threw for 18 and 12 last year, for comparison's sake.

After adding OT Orlando Pace as well, the Bears have a solid offensive line, a good quarterback, a good running back in Matt Forte, and suddenly look like they could have a potent offense in 2009. The receiver position is still a bit lacking (Forte led the team in receptions last year), but Cutler will make them better and Angelo is considering making an addition at that position. Devin Hester automatically becomes a more significant threat because if he breaks free on a fly pattern, Cutler just might, you know, get the ball to him.

For now, if you ask me, just be happy the Bears have a quarterback who can squeeze the ball between defenders; a quarterback who can scramble out of the pocket when pressured; a quarterback who can hit some guys downfield in stride; a quarterback who has seven game-winning drives in 37 career games.

The Bears have a quarterback.