Crosstown Class-ick

Thursday: White Sox 5, Cubs 0

I got it! I got it! I don't got it.

Carlos Torres? Seriously?? A 27-year-old rookie making his third major league start and shooting for his first major league win? And all he does is throw seven scoreless innings in 2009's final installment of the Crosstown Craptastic.

This loss is on Alfonso Soriano. Congratulations to Derrek Lee, who was attending to the birth of his second child, but it's a shame he had to miss the game, as Jake Fox was then forced to play first base instead of left field. Down 1-0, Soriano came to the plate with runners at first (Fox) and third and one out ... and struck out. Then, still in a 1-0 game, he came up in the seventh with a runner at second (Fox) and nobody out, needing to move him over to third ... and struck out. Baker then singled to right, but Fox was thrown out at the plate. Because Soriano didn't move him to third. Because small ball isn't really his thing. Because he's not a team player.

Oh, and he's not a real dynamite fielder, either. Soriano fell down as he attempted to catch a ball in the eighth, resulting in a three-base, run-scoring error. I'm not even going to feign shock; this is what he does. Even Ron Santo called Thursday's performance "embarrassing." I honestly can't believe we have this guy for five more years (Soriano, not Santo). Five more years! That's 2014! We will have had another presidential election, a summer Olympics, two winter Olympics, and two World Cups by then. And I'll be 32! Maybe some AL team would like to have an aging DH.

Dempster did his part, pitching what should have been eight scoreless innings except for Soriano's dunderhead play out in left. With the first three Sox runs being unearned (due also to an error at first by Fox), the Cubs had pitched 30 consecutive innings without allowing an earned run, and the bullpen racked up 22.2 straight scoreless innings. That all ended, however, when Sean Marshall allowed two runs of the earned variety in the ninth.

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College football started last night. To all those teams with championship aspirations: if you're going to lose, you'd better do it now. Lose late in the season and the ridiculous BCS will get ya! And I'm not talking to you, non-major conference teams. You have no right to have championship aspirations you ... you ... you non-major conference teams you!