Never a good thing when your last name makes a much better first name than your first name.
David Kool (Western Michigan)
When you've got a last name like cool, you just throw a nice, normal name in front of it. Don't ruin it. Don't do Lance Kool or Darius Kool. Just David Kool, or Steve Kool. Well done, Mr. and Mrs. Kool.
Blaise Ffrench (St. Peter's)
Not every day you see the double "f," and not every day you see the name Blaise. Also not every day you hear anything about the St. Peter's Peacocks. Is that the worst college team name in the nation? How often has a St. Peter's student gotten drunk, headed to a big basketball game and gotten ready to yell "Peacocks, motherfu**er!" at the other team right after a big three-pointer, but then had to decide against it since, you know, they're the Peacocks. Do you think their fans ever shorten it to just "Cocks"? The St. Peter's Cocks? That makes it sound like a person--a saint, no less--with a unique biological affliction.
"Humpty" Hitchens (Akron)
Do I really need to say anything? Okay, how about this: his name cracks me up.
Tyler Storm (Northern Illinois)
Sounds like a character in a novel. Or the bad guy in a bad movie.
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