Saturday, July 18, 2009

Citing struggling economy, SportsCenter scales back to Top 9 Plays

From the Wait 'til this Year Humor Vault

BRISTOL, Ct.--With an economic recession taking its toll, even a cash cow like SportsCenter is making sacrifices. The program, which airs on ESPN several times daily, announced Tuesday that it will cut back on its staple segment "Top 10 Plays," and show only the top nine plays for the foreseeable future.

"We've got to find ways to save some dough without changing the show's core," said SportsCenter anchor John Anderson. "I feel bad for the viewers, but I also feel bad for the athlete who makes that 10th best play each night. S/he really deserves to be recognized for making a slightly above average play."

Producers indicated that other cuts are still on the table, including:

-Showing only the winning teams' scores on the bottom line

-Showing highlights of only one of the Williams sisters (and possibly only one of the Manning brothers, if things really get tight)

-Eliminating soccer highlights of missed goals, thereby eliminating soccer highlights altogether

-No more Nationals highlights (this one is partly in response to overwhelming viewer requests as well)

-No more highlights of Ivy League action ("Because seriously, who cares?" said anchor Jay Harris)

-Editing out Stuart Scott's catch phrases, thereby eliminating him altogether and saving on payroll

1 comment:

  1. I would also like to suggest they stop talking about Brett Favre and his retire/not retire updates. Because really ... who cares? This could save them a bundle and I wouldn't have to mute the tv so often.