Omar Vizquel had no idea retirement was an option until Ken Griffey Jr. did it

From the Wait 'til this Year Humor Vault

Prior to Griffey's retirement, Vizquel just wished there was some way to end it all.

CHICAGO--White Sox shortstop Omar Vizquel says that he was shocked and very excited when Ken Griffey Jr. retired recently, saying that until he read the story, he had no idea such a course of action even existed. Vizquel, 43, has played major league baseball for 22 years and has pretty much sucked for the last four of them. He says he would have retired years ago if anyone had told him about it.

"What the f--k?" Vizquel said to a clubhouse full of teammates, holding up the USA Today sports section. "Why did no one tell me about this? I'm 43 years old, I'm terrible, my knees hurt, I'm playing for a crazy-ass manager, and I groan with displeasure every time I see my name in the lineup. You guys couldn’t have told me about retirement?”