An arse-kicking

Week 12: Vikings 36, Bears 10

Pretty sure either one of these guys could have beaten the Bears.

Well, for the most part, the Bears made Brett Favre beat 'em. And beat 'em he did, like Tiger Woods's wife beats rear windows.

Adrian Peterson did manage 85 yards, but he averaged just 3.4 per carry and his longest run was 15 yards. But three TDs for Brett and nearly 400 yards through the air led to another game for which "beat down" was a better description than "Bear down."

The Vikings put up 537 yards in all, the most for any team against the Bears since 1982. That's the year I was born. We just saw the worst Bears defensive performance since I was born. WOW, this defense is awful. Perhaps that's because Jerry Angelo's first round draft picks since 2001 have looked like this: David Terrell, Marc Columbo, Michael Haynes, Rex Grossman, Tommie Harris, Cedric Benson, Greg Olsen, and Chris Williams. And the other rounds don't look much better. You cannot field a consistently good team with consistently bad draft picks.

But as bad as the defense is, the offense isn't much better. For me, the Bears' offense is like God--it might exist, but I have no proof that it does. Did anyone besides me know for a fact that the Bears were going to have to resort to a field goal after Johnny Knox returned a kickoff to the Vikings' eight yard line? Why must we watch games with such justified pessimism? Why must that be our fate?

If someone would have told you three months ago that at some point this season, there would be a week in which Jay Cutler would be the fourth-best quarterback from the 2006 draft class, you probably would have put them in a headlock. But while Cutler was throwing two more picks and failing to pile up even 150 yards, two other members of the draft class were going toe-to-toe in a great battle as Matt Leinart and Vince Young went at it in a 20-17 thriller won by Tennessee. And on Thursday, Bruce Freakin' Gradkowski didn't play too poorly, either. He was even one of the four nominees for the Turkey Award Thingie. What is this world coming to?

But Cutler is leading the league in something--unfortunately, it's interceptions. You better have 10 fingers and 10 toes if you're trying to keep track of them, cuz he's now up to 20.

That's now four straight losses and six out of seven. But behold: the beauty of a home game against the Rams. Enjoy the next seven days, because there won't be many more weeks when you can look forward to what should be a Bears victory.