Favre pulls a Favre; surprises, like, maybe one really gullible guy in Wyoming

"What, Brett Favre flew to Minnesota? You mean, you mean he might come back to the Vikings? Ohmygodohmygod! This is unbelievable! This is the story of the year! Which is crazy, because it was also the story of the year in 2009! And also in 2008! I can't believe he might actually come back! I never in a million years thought that $20 million and a chance to go to the Super Bowl could lure him back with that bum ankle of his!"

--The one random dude in America who didn't think Favre would return

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In all seriousness, I got a little excited when SportsCenter reported one morning that Favre had informed the Vikings' brass that he wouldn't be returning. As a Bears fan, I was thrilled that this development would have opened the NFC North wide open.

But I must admit there's a small part of me that is excited for Public Enemy #1 to return to the field. I hate Favre, but that doesn't entirely mean I want him gone. Hate is part of sports (sports-hate, not real hate). Without players and teams to root against, sports would only be half as fun as they are.

So welcome back, you drama queen bastard. Julius Peppers will see you now.

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But could Brett have been any douchier in how he handled his return?

"I don't think I can play, my ankle feels ouchy. But hey, who are these cute purply guys coming to talk to me? Whaaaa? You want me to play quarterback? You like me? And you just need this one little favor? Aw, shucks, I can't say no to you. But only if you reaaallly want me to ... You do? Okay, I'm in. But only cuz you asked nicely and because I'm such a nice person. I don't want to play at all, really I don't, but I'll do it for you."

I hope Tarvaris Jackson goes all Kathy Bates on his ankle while he's sleeping.