Let's get this party started

The Bears and Lions engaged in two shootouts last year with the blue and orange coming out victorious over the blue and silver each time. In the first match-up, at Soldier Field, the game was tied at 21 at halftime, but the Bears overwhelmed them in the second half and won going away 48-24. In a meaningless Week 17 game, the Bears ended their season with a 37-23 win, the Lions' 14th loss of the season.

But will the Lions continue to be the whipping boy of the NFC? (They've won more than six games just once since 2001.) Do the Bears' preseason struggles presage a season with fewer wins than the seven they claimed last year? I don't know for sure, but I'll tell you how I'm going to find out: by watching some f**king football this Sunday. Bring it.

Keys to the game

Protect Cutler. Duh. If you had a lobotomy and somehow forgot that this was a huge issue last season, this is your reminder. And if you completely ignored the preseason during which Jay Cutler spent lots of quality time with the ground, I'm here to tell you about that too. Protection is hugely important in any offense, but especially in a Mike Martz offense. And Detroit added second-overall pick Ndamukong Suh to their defensive line.

Don't let Detroit put their "Best" foot forward. There it is, folks, the first bad pun of the 2010 NFL season! (polite applause)

The 30th pick in this year's draft, former Cal star Jahvid Best gives the Lions a potentially legitimate weapon in the backfield, something they lacked last season. Though Detroit's passing weapons are not to be ignored, the Bears should still key on Best and force Stafford to beat them through the air.

The return of Urlacher. I really hope I'm not jinxing anything here. Urlacher missed 15.5 games last year and was hurt during the preseason. Hopefully he's 100 percent for this Sunday, and if he is, it will be fun to see what remains in his tank. Can he be the ubiquitous presence he once was and help restore the Bears' D?

ESPN apologizes for not broadcasting a Yankees-Red Sox game

From the Wait 'til this Year Humor Vault

BRISTOL, Conn.--With tears in his eyes and a somber look on his face, SportsCenter anchor Scott Van Pelt looked directly into the camera Wednesday night and apologized to baseball fans around the world for his network's inexplicable decision not to air a game featuring the New York Yankees versus the Boston Red Sox. Given that ESPN had broadcast the last 212 games between the two rivals, it was quite the unexpected blow to fans who tuned in excitedly at 7:00 EST only to see the Minnesota Twins playing the Detroit Tigers.

"Sports fans, we at ESPN ask for your forgiveness on this day," began Van Pelt. "There is no dancing around this--a tragedy has occurred. The Boston Red Sox played a baseball game against the New York Yankees tonight, and you ... [Van Pelt paused here and lowered his head, his jaw quivering. After a few moments, he continued] ... you weren't able to see it. The greatest rivalry in the history of sports, nay, in the history of games and competition of any kind, in the history of human civilization, was broadcast only in the teams' local areas. Today, I am ashamed to be an employee of ESPN."

Gary Miller, a fan who went to Buffalo Wild Wings to catch Wednesday Night Baseball, had this to say at 7:25, when it became clear to everyone at the bar that ESPN was actually going to show the entire Twins/Tigers game: "I felt sick to my stomach. I mean yes, I shouldn't have chugged that 23 ounce Leinie's Summer Shandy, and I'm pretty sure they don't clean their beer tap lines here, but it wasn't the beer. Twins/Tigers? I mean, who are these people? Joe Mauer? Justin Ver ... Verla ... Verlanker? Are these teams even in the major leagues?"

The bar was booming just before seven o'clock, but was nearly empty by eight. It was the same story at bars across the country as fans fled home and flooded ESPN with emails and calls.

"We can't change what happened tonight," said Van Pelt, "but we can promise never to let it happen again. People jokingly refer to us as 'Eastern Seaboard Programming Network' for a reason. They expect certain biases and a consistent if sometimes irrational commitment to East Coast teams, especially the Sox and Yankees. On top of our ESPN, ESPN2 and ESPNClassic channels, we are looking into the possibility of adding ESPNRed Sox and ESPNYankees. We apologize again, and we assure you that this boneheaded decision will be #1 in this week's 'Not Top Ten.'"

Derrek Lee update

That looks weird.

It's not a good one, unless you were hoping he would fail in Atlanta. After hitting four home runs in his last three games played as a Cub, Lee has yet to go deep in 17 games as a Brave. While in his first 10 games he had nine hits, seven RBI and three runs scored (and the Braves went 5-5), he is just 4-for-20 with one run scored and nary an RBI in his last seven (and the Braves are 2-5).

While they lead the Wild Card race, the Braves fell out of first for the the first time since May after a second straight loss to the Pirates yesterday.

NFC North preview

In 2009, two NFC North teams--the Vikings and Packers--finished above .500, with the Vikings taking the division title and the Packers a Wild Card spot. The Bears, who went 3-3 in the division, finished third and 7-9 overall. The Lions won just two games. Will there be a new North champ this season? Will the Lions make noise? Will the Bears contend?

ESPN had 16 "experts" make their playoff predictions, and the Bears are on there as often as the Rams (uh, never). Fifteen of the sixteen picked the Packers to win the division. But who needs ESPN when you have me?

Packers

Led by a vaunted passing attack featuring Aaron Rodgers, Greg Jennings and Donald Driver, along with a 1,200-yard season from Ryan Grant, the Packers put up the third-most points in the NFL last season. All of those players, along with talented tight end Jermichael Finley, return in 2010. The unit's 2009 production is amazing given the struggles of the offensive line, which allowed the most sacks in the NFL. The offensive line is still a question mark, but this could be the best offensive team in the league.

The Pack's defense allowed the second-fewest yards per game and the seventh-fewest points in the league in 2009. They've got the reigning Defensive Player of the Year in Charles Woodson (who will turn 34 in October), though fellow cornerback Al Harris is coming off knee surgery. It's scary to think that their success last year came in the first season after a switch to a 3-4 system.

Prediction: 13-3

Vikings

One of the two teams who scored more points than Green Bay last year, the Vikings return every offensive starter. Brett Favre seemed on a mission to match his age in touchdowns in 2009, ending up with 33 of them and just seven picks. He's on a potentially bum ankle this year and won't have Sidney Rice to throw to until for at least six weeks. The Vikes also lost Chester Taylor, though I think they have a decent #1 back.

Minnesota finished 10th in points allowed and had a stifling rush defense that allowed just 87 yards per game (second in the NFL). Amazingly, they return all 11 defensive starters as well. This certainly looks like a strong team, though it's impossible not to wonder what kind of drop-off we'll see from the 40-year-old vermin.

Prediction: 10-6

Bears

Mike Martz has been brought in to try to improve upon an offense that finished 19th in points per game last season. The young receiving corps returns and can hopefully build on some success last year, while Jay Cutler will look to beat last year's career high in TDs but avoid another career high in picks. Chester Taylor provides a nice pass-catching ability and is a good blocker. But holy Jesus the offensive line has looked terrible this offseason.

The D was even worse last year, allowing over 23 points per game. While the safety positions are in a bit of flux, Urlacher returns (fingers crossed for a healthy season) and Julius Freak of Nature Peppers (editor's note: not his real middle name) brings a legit pass rush to the defensive line. This unit should be better than '09, but it's hard to envision them having a top-flight defense.

Prediction: 8-8

Lions

When your leading rusher has under 800 yards and your QB throws seven more INTs than TDs, you're probably going to have the 27th ranked offense in the league. Probably. No, definitely, cuz that's what the Lions did last year. But now Matthew Stafford has a year under his belt and they have 1st-round draft pick Jahvid Best in their backfield. Translation: this offense should take a step forward in 2010.

What's worse than having the 27th ranked offense? Having the league's worst defense. Detroit added second-overall draft pick Ndomukong Suh to the defensive line along with free agent Kyle Vanden Bosch. On the flip side, they lost two of their linebackers. The secondary appears to be a weakness as well. In short, the Lions might improve upon their run defense but may struggle against the pass.

Prediction: 5-11

[shout out to xtrapointfootball.com]

Week 22 awards: Sure these teams are bad, but better to beat them than lose to them!

Well this is sort of fun, no? I mean sure, the emphasis is on "sort of" since there's a pretty low ceiling on the enjoyment one can glean from a fifth-place team with an interim manager and some guy named Scott Maine in the bullpen. But fun nonetheless.

A second straight 4-2 week resulted in some rather pleasant press conferences for Mike Quade who suddenly has the Cubs looking like they care. The team is scoring runs, two different pitchers (Diamond and Russell) earned their first major league victories, and Carlos Marmol climbed into sixth place on the NL saves leaderboard.

By the way, for those who said the Cubs shouldn't bring in Sandberg mid-season because it's a toxic environment, because it would be unfair to him, etc., etc., do you still think that now? Do you think Quade is sick and tired of managing this unmanageable group of players? For those who want Sandberg at the helm next season, it would be pretty cool if he were 8-4 as manager right now, wouldn't it? He'd have a few press conferences under his belt, he'd be gaining a sense of the team's strengths and weaknesses, and he would have had a month or two to hone his major league management style. Do you think Buck Showalter wishes the Orioles would have waited until the offseason to hire him, given that the Orioles are 19-13 under him after beating the Rays yesterday? But I digress.

On a separate note, the Cardinals are tanking and that brings me joy.

Ryno of the Week: This is probably the toughest one I've had all year. In the one corner we have Starlin Castro who went 11-for-25 with eight runs scored and two RBI, and sits in third in the NL batting race. He also became the first Cubs rookie in 66 years with six straight multi-hit games. In the other corner we have Carlos Zambrano, our resident riddle wrapped in an enigma. He went 2-0 this week with a 1.46 ERA, six walks and 15 strikeouts. He made history of his own, passing Kerry Wood for third on the Cubs' all-time strikeout list. He's 4-0 since returning from the restricted list and has not allowed more than two earned runs in any of his six starts. Since Big Z was still plagued by control issues and only pitched 12.1 innings over his two starts, whereas Castro did just about everything right (except for moving forward to accept a throw on a steal attempt, allowing Carlos Beltran to get in safely behind him), I'm going to go with the rook. Man, can this kid hit.

Judd Sirott made an interesting point during Saturday's post-game show, suggesting that Zambrano's numbers as a starter this season are not too shabby. Unless, that is, you look at them as if Big Z were an ace (and of course he's being paid like one, which is the problem). It reminded me of a post I wrote last year in which I explained that Big Z simply isn't an ace and never has been. What Judd said is true: Zambano isn't a bad pitcher, but he's definitely not an ace.

Honorable mentions: Koyie Hill, Marlon Byrd, Alfonso Soriano

Goat of the Week: From the Department of Baseball Makes No Sense, Ryan Dempster got absolutely pasted twice this week after going 4-0 with a 1.31 ERA in his previous five starts. He failed to go five innings in either start this week. He still has a small chance of reaching the 15-win mark for the third time in his career.

Dishonorable mention: Blake DeWitt

Humor Vault Headlines

Ray Lewis says he's ready to kill the competition in 2010. Er, he means, beat them. You know, at football.

Tulane #1 in preseason poll of Tulane students

With boldest prediction yet, Michael Irvin predicts that every NFL team will go 8-8.

Cubs managerial candidates

In terms of the Cubs' search for a new manager, it's very early. There are still lots of questions without answers, such as: Will Joe Torre and/or Tony LaRussa retire? Are the Yankees going to extend Joe Girardi? Does Mike Quade actually have a shot at the job?

Then yesterday, the rumor swirled that Hendry has Fredi Gonzalez at the top of his wish list, and that he prefers someone with major league managing experience. As you'll read below, I hope this isn't true.

Nevertheless, let's handicap this thang:

Ryne Sandberg 37%

I've already shared my pro-Ryno feelings, but I'll reiterate succinctly: He's a Hall of Famer who played the game hard and understands what it takes to get the most out of your talent. When he expressed a desire to manage back in 2006, the Cubs asked him to start by riding a bus around the Midwest as a Single A manager. He did it. He paid his dues. He's worked his way up through the minors and by all accounts has grown a great deal as a leader and a communicator. In addition, it's virtually a guarantee that he would be managing a different major league team by the time the Cubs get around to hiring again. Plus, Dutchie Caray is all for it!

For another pro-Ryno view, here's Gene Wojciechowski.

**UPDATE** Sandberg will be named the Pacific Coast League manager of the year on Friday.

Fredi Gonzalez 23%

I had to bump his percentage up at the last minute because of the rumor mill. He led the Marlins to winning seasons in '08 and '09 despite MLB's lowest payroll. He knows what he's doing and I like the way he handled the Hanley Ramirez "jogging after the ball and then throwing his teammates under the bus" situation. For a few years, he was third base coach of the Braves under Bobby Cox. This is where the problem comes in, in my mind: the Braves will have a vacancy next season too, and would Fredi rather take over the Cubs than the Braves?

Joe Girardi 12%

I still think he's at the top of Hendry's list. The only problem? He's probably at the top of the Steinbrenners' list too. Though he hasn't been extended past this season yet, the Yankees are coming off a World Series title and have the best record in the majors. Yes, Girardi grew up in Peoria, played for the Cubs, and his wife is from Chicago. Yes, leading the Cubs to a title would essentially put him on MLB's Mount Rushmore, or at least Chicago's. But would he really leave the $230 million-payroll, best-team-in-the-majors Yankees for the no-bullpen, Soriano-in-left, lead-the-majors in errors Cubs? I don't see it.

By the way, Girardi is the only hire I would accept outside of Sandberg.

Bob Brenly 10%

He's got a World Series ring. More importantly, he knows the Cubs as well as anyone after watching and analyzing them for the last six years. Managerial success + well-liked by Cubs fans = not a bad choice. Okay, I might accept Brenly too. But I'd rather have Sandberg in the dugout and Brenly in the booth.

Mike Quade 7%

He's off to a nice start, I'll give him that. And he has managed literally thousands of games at the minor league level. But still--Mike Quade as your next Cubs manager?

Joe Torre 4%

He's 70 years old--is he really looking to take on a rebuilding Cubs team?

Tony LaRussa 1%

I would murder everyone in the world.

Eric Wedge 1%

He already interviewed for the job, so he has to be on the list. He managed the Indians from 2003-2009.

Pat Listach 1%

He managed players such as Soto, Colvin and Marmol as manager of the Iowa Cubs, and currently serves as the Nationals' third base coach. Meh.

Bobby Valentine 1%

He threw his hat in the ring, but my guess is that Hendry and Ricketts wouldn't want his type of personality.

Ozzie Guillen 1%

Steve Stone said he doesn't think both Guillen and Kenny Williams will survive into next year, so it must be true. Still, I don't see him heading north. Though at least then when he comes to Wrigley he wouldn't have to use the visitors' clubhouse.

Ted Simmons 1%

The Padres bench coach has indicated that he would have interest in the job. Obviously this would be an out-of-left-field pick.

Chris Speier 1%

Another bench coach--he sits next to Dusty in the Reds' dugout. Speier spent two years as the Cubs' third base coach when Dusty was here, and Hendry has said that he's "a good man, and one of my favorite players as a kid."

Whew. I'd be shocked if I haven't listed the next Cubs manager here. What do you think? Who do you want to see and who do you think it'll be?