Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Turns out Peyton Manning's pre-snap "audibles" are just random, nonsensical signals

From the Wait 'til this Year Humor Vault

INDIANAPOLIS--Reporters confirmed on Friday that the last-second audibles for which Colts quarterback Peyton Manning has become famous are completely made up and pointless. Manning is known for approaching the line of scrimmage before a play and yelling out directions while simultaneously signaling to his offense.

"Jibberish," said wide receiver Reggie Wayne. "I try not to pay any attention to it, but he gets a kick out of it."

"It gets a little annoying," said offensive tackle Ryan Diem. "'Three! Six! Toyota! Coyote! Macademia!' He says 'macademia' almost every play. He just loves that word for some reason. It gets old, but I suppose it works for him."

Colts head coach Jim Caldwell was asked if he has considered putting the kibosh on Manning's gesticulations.

"Look at him out there, flailing away and yelling like a crazy person. I'd probably be risking my life if I told him to stop. He's not ... he's not right, man."

Added Manning's wife, "He does the same crap at home. If we're going to make lasagna but he realizes we're out of cheese, he'll stand at the refrigerator touching his hand to his knee, crossing his arms, yelling out random words. I just wait 'til he's done and then ask what the hell he's talking about."