Thursday, September 16, 2010
From the Wait 'til this Year Humor Vault
HOUSTON--God was clearly on the side of Albert Pujols and the Cardinals on Thursday, and the Astros were none too happy about it. Pujols gestured toward the sky after his go-ahead home run in the ninth inning, understandably eager to thank the Lord for allowing his team to win the game.
"This is bulls**t," said Astros outfielder Hunter Pence. "I really don't understand why God hates us so much. I pray most nights. I thank Him when he lets me get a big hit. And yet we're 13 games out of first place while He keeps giving Pujols home runs? Sorry I'm so upset, but goddamn, God is really pissing me off."
Pujols praised God in his post-game interview, thanking him for the talent he has given him and saying that through Him all things are possible. He added that while the Cardinals have struggled of late, maybe God will see fit to help them make it to the postseason.
"Everyone is all, 'God is great! God is great!' God is average at best," said Pence after taking off his necklace with a cross on it. "I don't know what else he wants from us. I'm sick of this Godforsaken sport."
God did not respond to a request for comment.