Thursday, December 9, 2010

NFL Visions, Part 2


Dallas Cowboys, 4-8
Things aren't blurry for this season--the Cowboys are toast. But things are blurry in general. Will Jason Garrett return? (Probably.) Is Romo really the answer at QB? Can the Cowboys win with Jerry Jones running the show? Romo's injury makes for a convenient excuse for this year, but this team has been struggling to find its way for a decade now.

Indianapolis Colts, 6-6
It's been a long time since you could say the Colts' fortunes were blurry. But injuries to receivers and (of course) Bob Sanders have exposed a lack of depth, and with two more interceptions Manning will have his highest total since 2002. His QB rating is just 16th in the NFL. Not this Sunday but next, the Colts will have a revenge game against Jacksonville, and it appears to be a must-win game if the Colts want to make the playoffs for the ninth straight year.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 7-5
Back-to-back losses have essentially knocked them out of the divisional race, but they remain just one game back in the Wild Card chase. With games against the Redskins, Lions and Seahawks on the horizon, they're not out of it yet.


Cincinnati Bengals, 2-10
Seriously, what is going on in Cincinnati? Turns out the T Ocho show is awful, but I'm not talking about what airs on Versus. The Bengals have a lame duck coach, a lame quarterback, and they lost on Sunday when they were drawn offsides even though THAT'S ALL THE SAINTS WERE TRYING TO DO. This is perhaps the one thing I could execute successfully if I played in the NFL: line up on the defensive line knowing the opposing quarterback is just going to
shout some sh-t out, and just don't move. It's entirely possible that the offensive lineman would look at me with angry eyes and say something mean-spirited and I would either sh-t my pants, which would certainly get me removed from the remainder of the game but I would still have executed my duty on that particular play; or I might turn around and run away from said lineman, but that too would not result in an offsides penalty. Yeah, I could totally execute that play.

Washington Redskins, 5-7
They're not actually THAT bad, but they have no running game. And they don't have any receivers who can catch. And Donovan McNabb is pretty terrible--the Redskins are definitely going to regret that five-year deal in about, oh, a year-and-a-half. Oh, and their defense isn't very good. It really pisses me off that the Bears lost to this team.

Detroit Lions, 2-10
Suh is awesome, and yeah, Stafford's been injured most of the year. But competitive or not, two wins is still two wins. Which is how many they had last season. Until they finish a few games with more points than the other team, they suck.

Denver Broncos, 3-9
Only Dallas and Arizona give up more points than they do. They're 1-5 on the road and have the fourth-worst point differential in the NFL. Things are so bad that Josh McDaniels done got himself fired on Monday, meaning this organization is clearly lost.

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