HOUSTON--In one of the more disturbing sports stories of the year, it has been discovered that Ron Artest has shaved his career statistics into his chest hair (he updates them once a year). Artest is well-known for the elaborate designs shaved on his head, but this development left fans across the country shocked and dismayed.
"Oh c'mon, man!" said Rockets fan Adam Janssen when shown a picture of Artest's chest. "Not cool."
Upon seeing the same image, fan Stacy Porter jumped back in horror, then shook her head and continually repeated the question uttered by most observers: Why?
Rockets Coach Rick Adelman wanted nothing less than to ponder the reasons for Artest's grooming decisions. "I've seen what he's done to his head," Adelman said. "And now, unfortunately, I've seen what he's done to his chest. I'll be praying tonight that I never have to see anything below that."
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