Friday, April 23, 2010

Brewers fans enraged after tofu dog wins Sausage Race

From the Wait 'til this Year Humor Vault

The cameraman refused to photograph the tofu dog out of protest.

MILWAUKEE--In a shocking and unprecedented development, a "Tofu Dog" won the traditional Sausage Race at Miller Park on Thursday night. Fans booed loudly as the Tofu Dog, looking quite healthy and extremely light on its feet, raced to the finish ahead of the other sausages. The other sausages fell behind early and just couldn't ketchup.

After the game, fans couldn't seem to care less that Prince Fielder hit a walk-off home run to beat the Rockies (Fielder, a vegetarian, said after the game that the Tofu Dog's victory definitely contributed to his late-game heroics); the only topic of discussion seemed to be the Sausage Race.

"It was an abomination," said Hal Mantz.

"They need to get rid of that sissy little tofer dog, whatever it's called," said season ticket holder Mitch Edler. "First they added that Mexican feller [the Chorizo], and now this. Is this Milwaukee or San Francisco?"

One fan was ejected after striking the Tofu Dog with an actual hot dog during the race. But the blow barely affected the giant vegetarian sausage--he was the wiener by a comfortable margin.

1 comment:

  1. I relish both the topic and verbal wit of this piece. Your soy-ful references make me joyful.