Monday, March 9, 2009

Taking a spin around the world of sports

A-Rod out 6-9 weeks after opting for hip surgery

This begs the question: What has been A-Rod's worst experience this offseason?
  • Divorcing his wife after a reported romance with 50-year-old Madonna (this technically took place during the '08 season, but I'm counting it anyways)
  • Getting tossed to the scrapheap by a 50-year-old
  • Being labeled "A-Fraud" in Joe Torre's book
  • Being linked to steroids by Sports Illustrated
  • Having to admit to steroid use in a press conference
  • Having surgery to repair torn right hip labrum
Ouch. A-Rod has had a worse winter than the Dow Jones. A marriage shattered, a love unrequited, a friendship torn asunder, a reputation shredded, a painful admission, and a serious medical procedure. "Are you sure it's my hip that needs to be repaired, Doc? Because it hurts right here (points to heart). It hurts ... (lip quivering) ... right here (single tear)."

No tears need to be shed when it comes to the Yankees chances, however. Going A-Rod-less for the first month or so may cost them a few games, but it seems like the Damn Yankees can do pretty much whatever they want in April and May and still flip a switch for the stretch run (they were 14-16 and 10-14 on May 1 the last two seasons). In fairness, they did miss the playoffs last year, which was totally sweet, but they won 89 games. And with a $209 million payroll, I wouldn't worry too much about their chances of competing this season.

T.O. released by Cowboys, signs with Bills

The 'Boys were no longer willing to throw the paper at Terrell Owens, but Buffalo was happy to throw some bills his way. For the first time in his career, Owens will play in the AFC.

Owens is a player with big-time talent and an even bigger ego (think: running to the star in the middle of Cowboys Stadium after scoring a touchdown with the 'Niners). If he could just shut his mouth every once in a while and be a team player, he wouldn't bounce around the league like a pinball.

Yes, he still gets the job done on the field, but there's no doubt his attitude has a negative impact on his teammates. Jerry Jones wants to win, and he wants to win bad. There's no way he releases a top five wide receiver from a team that hasn't won a playoff game since 1996 unless his 'tude is more toxic than a Britney Spears single.

How many rings does T.O. have (I'll give you a hint: it's equal to the number of games the Lions won last year)? Granted, that's partly due to Tony Romo's tendency to go into hibernation every winter, and also to the fact that the Eagles were run over by the Tom Brady Train in Super Bowl XXXIX.

But the fact is: chemistry matters in sports, and it REALLY matters in football. A QB has about four seconds to drop back, make his reads and decide whom to throw to. Having a little T.O. voice in the back of your head saying "Throw to me even if I'm not open or I'll chew you out on the sideline or in the media" doesn't help.

Owens is getting up there in age--he's 35 now. It's time for him to wisen up and stop bringing his teams down. He's got so much ability, and it's time for him to take full advantage of it. The Bills are counting on it, especially in an improved AFC East where they'll get no mercy from the Patriots and Dolphins.

Big East tournament tips off with two upsets


If Georgetown had any remaining hope of making the NCAA tournament, it was crushed today with a 64-59 loss to St. John's.

Selection committee: Who wants to be an NIT team?
Georgetown: I do! I do!

In other action, DePaul smacked Cincinnati in the head with a giant bag of "What the f*** just happened?" The Bearcats had some quality wins this year, beating Georgetown twice and taking down both Notre Dame and West Virginia. They were seeded 9th in the Big East tournament.

But even if they had been seeded 90th, they still should have beaten DePaul. Apparently the Blue Demons were just biding their time, going winless in conference play to assure themselves a 16 seed so they could sneak up all cat-like and take someone out before they knew what hit 'em.

DePaul will now take on Providence, which, along with being a college in Rhode Island, is also defined as "God, esp. when conceived as omnisciently directing the universe and the affairs of humankind with wise benevolence." If there is a God, s/he will surely end this charade here and now before DePaul gets any ideas about being a real basketball team. However, if this God has a sense of humor, s/he will surely direct DePaul to a Big East Conference tournament championship, because that would be hilarious. And it would be a downright knee-slapper to see DePaul take on an Oklahoma or North Carolina in the first round of the NCAA tournament.

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