Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Football coach hoping to get his team noticed through inappropriate press conferences outbursts

From the Wait 'til this Year Humor Vault

DENTON, Tex.--University of North Texas head football coach Todd Dodge has gone on tirade after tirade over the last few months in an attempt to get on SportsCenter and get his team noticed, but he just can't seem to get the attention he so desperately craves.

Having seen Mike Gundy, Dennis Green, Jim Mora and others get plenty of TV time by lashing out during press conferences, Dodge decided early in the season to do the same thing in the hopes of putting the Mean Greens on the map.

"I'm not sure what else I can do," Dodge said. "I called our quarterback a pansy-ass pansy after one game and threw a microphone at a reporter after another. After we lost 50-26 to Troy, I brought a 40 (ounce beer) to the press conference and poured it out, saying our season had died and I was pourin' one out in remembrance of it. No one seemed to care. The custodian at Troy yelled at me on my way out, but no SportsCenter, no YouTube, nothin'."

One problem is the dearth of reporters at Dodge's press conferences. Often there are just one or two reporters: Judy Caldwell from the Denton Record-Chronicle is often there and Maurice Marks of the North Texas Daily has attended most of the home press conferences. Coaching outbursts just aren't as effective when they occur in front of so few people, as evidenced by the time Dodge tried to get violent, saying, "Who wants to fight me? Which one of you question-asking punks want to take me on?! Who wants to challenge the Meanest Mean Green of all?!"

Caldwell was the only reporter in attendance that day. She calmly took notes and waited for the outburst to end. Dodge looked around awkwardly, walked slowly back to the podium and said, "Next question."

Said Dodge about his antics: "I just don't understand why people wouldn't want to watch this stuff. The press conference I did with no shirt on? The time I addressed all the questions while sitting in Maurice's lap? Or the time I came up with politically incorrect and arguably racist nicknames for all the other team's players and coaches? How is that not all over the Internet?"

Dodge wouldn't reveal what he had planned for this Saturday's press conference, but a bow and arrow was spotted in his office.

1 comment:

  1. Has he tried going thru a local drive thru nude? Could help. Or not. Either way, I'm waiting patiently for his next news conference.