Thursday, March 4, 2010

Dwight Howard draws technical foul for not having any tattoos

From the Wait 'til this Year Humor Vault

ORLANDO--Orlando Magic center Dwight Howard earned a technical foul on Wednesday for not having enough tattoos. Though he pretended to be shocked by the call, Howard had been warned by the NBA Commissioner's office several times that if he didn't get inked up, he would be punished accordingly.

"We have an image to uphold," said Commissioner David Stern. "We have lots of young kids coming to our games, and they expect to see random, borderline inappropriate tattoos all over the players' bodies. I called Dwight a week ago and told him he needed to get him some tats. Apparently he still thinks he's above the rules."

Stern cited the Nuggets' Chris Andersen--aka Birdman--and the Knicks' Eddy Curry as two examples Howard should consider following. Stern has instructed the NBA's referees to continue to T players up until they "stop being B-backs and get engraved already." He said they've contracted with several tattoo artists who are ready to "pound some skin and sling some serious ink."


  1. Good work finding appropriate pictures!

  2. Those would have to hurt!