Phat Albert

Earlier, I implied that Cardinals ace Chris Carpenter had pitched so well it was almost Christlike. But I forgot that the Cardinals already have a savior on their roster--Albert Freakin' Pujols.

On Saturday, the Cardinals' miracle worker launched a grand slam and a 3-run homer against the Astros, giving him three home runs and a league-leading nine RBI in the season's first six games. As with Jesus, you absolutely cannot stop this man (yes, Jesus was killed, but he came back, didn't he?). If you took his worst season statistics across his career, they would look like this: .314 avg., 32 HR, 103 RBI, .394 OBP. He is the only player in baseball history to start his career with eight consecutive seasons with a .300+ batting average, 30+ HRs, and 100+ RBIs. Pujols may turn out to be the greatest steal in draft history--he was the 402nd overall pick in 1999.

My boss Tony Bankston boldly predicted before the season began that Pujols would bat .400 this year--he's off to a very early .429 start. While he may not become the first player since Ted Williams in 1941 to accomplish that feat, it's a pretty safe bet that Pujols will have another monster season. I'm obviously not rooting for Pujols, but I have to admit that his hitting ability is nothing short of holy.

Cubs notes

• What a great win for the Cubs! That's Soriano's second clutch home run of the season. Props to my friends Brandon James and Tony Fuggiti--they made the trek up to Miller Park and were repaid with the opportunity to taunt Brewers fans in the wake of a Cubs victory.
  

• Five games into the season, the Cubs have hit at least one home run in every game.

• Koyie Hill should never be asked to bunt again.

• Ryan Theriot was leading the league in batting average (.600) going into Saturday's game.

• Neal Cotts's last two games: 2 appearances, 0 IP, one hit batsman, one walk.
  

• How about Soriano hitting a game-winning moonshot on a breaking ball? Sweet.

• I have no idea how Marmol struck out both Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder to put away the game. He was completely limited to his slider, which he was generally hanging in the middle of the plate. Braun still couldn't catch up to it, and Fielder watched one go right past him to end it. I'll take it, but Marmol will need to start throwing his fastball for strikes at some point.
  

"Zero" watch
-The Indians are 0-5. Cliff Lee is now 0-2. But hey--he lowered his ERA to 9.90!
-The Nationals are 0-5, though they have at least been within two runs each of the last two games. So ... that's something.
-With the Marlins' loss to the Mets, there are no longer any undefeated teams.