Bears fall on their faces, into tie for first

The Bears' situation--they look terrible but they find themselves tied for first in the division--brings forth an interesting philosophical sports question: How much evidence do you require in order to have faith in your favorite team? What's your threshold for belief? Can the evidence be limited to fortunate geographic positioning? As in, being in the horrendous NFC North? Or does your personal sports dogma require more? Like, maybe, a certain level of talent, success, and all around good play?

All of this is to say: Are you excited that the Bears are somehow tied for first through Week 7? Or do you think, as Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth do, that it's all a mirage? Do you think it possible for the Bears to take advantage of their fortune moving forward, or has the Bears' pathetic performance the last two weeks left you devoid of faith in your favorite football team?

Me? I'm hanging on by a thread. The NFC's just so damn awful. The Bears get a bye (while the Packers face the Jets on the road) followed by the Bills. There's a decent chance the Bears will be 5-3 and still in first, and I won't be able to give up just yet. I mean, would that sort of be like leading at the halfway point of a marathon against Stephen Hawking, Rosie O'Donnell and my one-year-old niece? Would it be somewhat akin to leading a beauty pageant in which two contestants are revealed to be crossdressing men and another answers the question "If you had a million dollars, how would you use it to make the world a better place?" by coming down off the stage and stabbing one of the judges repeatedly in the heart? Yes, it would be something like those things. But still, first place!

Oh, I just thought of another good philosophical sports question: What the f**k is wrong with Jay Cutler? Seriously, someone tell me what the f**k is wrong with Jay Cutler. He looks like a rookie out there. DeAngelo Hall--who, I would like to remind you, plays for the Redskins--caught more of Cutler's passes than did Greg Olsen, and as many as Earl Bennett. Seeking to diversify his turnover portfolio, Cutler also fumbled at the goal line. It seems pretty clear that, along with the offensive line, the big problem with the Bears offense isn't the play caller (Martz), but the play maker. Or rather, the guy who was brought to the team to make plays but seems to do so mostly for his opponents.

You know who had a higher QB rating than Cutler on Sunday? Ryan Fitzpatrick. And Matt Cassel. And Jason Campbell. And Matt Moore. And Josh Freeman. And Todd Bouman. And Colt McCoy. And keep in mind, that's not a function of the Bears going away from the pass or anything like that. Cutler threw for 281 yards and a touchdown, good for the ol' QB rating. But four picks and a fumble? Not good. Not good at all.

Even the karma the Bears had early in the season (Calvin Johnson' non-TD, the Packers' plethora of penalties) seems to have vanished. A pick six by D.J. Moore was called back due to a delay of game. The Redskins fumbled like 700 times but got all but one of them back. Lovie wasted a challenge on a close play at the goal line which made him reluctant to challenge Cutler's fumble on the very next play. Wait, that last one wasn't karma, that's just Lovie and his staff being morons when it comes to using challenges.

It's amazing the Bears only lost by three. It felt like 30. Bring on the bye.

Let's end it on a positive note again:

The good over the bad

That's what happened on Monday night--good triumphed over bad. As in, the Bears represent all that is good and right in the world, and they conquered the cheesehead-wearing symbol of evil known as the Green Bay Packers.

But also, the Bears were able to get a win on the strength of some good play despite a number of bad plays and some issues they'll need to resolve if they'd like to keep the good times rolling.

Good: The Bears continue to have the best run defense in the league. By far. They've allowed 39.7 yards/game on the ground, followed not-closely by the Texans who have allowed 54.3. Brandon Jackson, my fantasy football not-savior, had a pathetic 12 yards on 7 carries.

Bad: The Bears can't run either. They had just 14 true rushes (not counting those by Cutler and Knox) for 38 yards, and rank 28th in total rushing yards this season. I know I complained about this last year as well, and maybe I'm just stubborn. I realize teams like the Patriots and Colts aren't too concerned with their run games and they're, you know, consistently awesome teams. But I'm not ready to call Jay Cutler Tom Brady or Peyton Manning, and it seems a little early to give up on the running game entirely.

Good: Jay Cutler continues to do things that Bears quarterbacks haven't done in a long time. He scrambled three times for 37 yards and zoomed some nice passes into tight spots including a touchdown to Greg Olsen.

Bad: Prime-time jitters, perhaps? Cutler threw one interception and tried to throw three more. One was negated by a roughing the passer, one was dropped, and one was wiped out on a pass interference penalty. May I ask what the f**k Cutler was thinking when he launched the ball high into the air off his back foot to a double-covered Earl Bennett with about two minutes remaining? The Bears were already in long field goal range (at the 33), and Cutler threw what was practically a Hail Mary when all they needed was five or ten yards?

Good: Julius Peppers. He didn't even record a sack and yet the announcers suggested that he was having "the game of his life." While that's just Jon Gruden's inner crazy coming out (Peppers once had three sacks and an interception in a game, only the third player ever to do that), Peppers did indeed have a huge impact on the game. I don't know the exact stats, but he must have caused at least two false starts, drawn at least two holding penalties, and pressured Rodgers multiple times. He also blocked a field goal.

Bad: Peppers' success is all the more impressive given that the rest of the line seems to be standing still. The Bears have just two sacks on the season, both against Detroit, and no one but Peppers seems to be getting any pressure.

Good: Devin Hester! The most exciting play in football is the punt return for a touchdown, and finally, for the first time since 2007, we got to jump out of our seats as Hester found a seam and busted through it.

Good: Mike Martz and Rod Marinelli. The offense continues to do things we're not used to seeing here in Chicago, and the defense looks solid.

Bad: Lovie Smith. He's now wasted six points on the season, and explained that he'll continue to go for it at the goal line in the future. Yeah, cuz who would want to tie the game? You show 'em, Lovie!

Good: Urlacher, Briggs and Tim Jennings. Urlacher and Briggs had a team-leading nine tackles each and combined to force the key fumble late in the game. Reserve cornerback Tim Jennings replace a not-injured Zack Bowman and finished with seven tackles and recovered the aforementioned fumble. He also laid a huge hit on one of the Packers receivers.

Bad: Starters getting benched. Tommie Harris was benched before the game, and I just mentioned that Bowman was benched in the first quarter. It's not wrong of Lovie to play whomever he feels will do the best job, but it's not good if a couple of the Bears' key players suddenly can't crack the starting lineup.

Good (Packers): Aaron Rodgers. Man, that guy can sling it. Even when a Bears defender had good coverage, it was like the ball was by him before he could even think to reach for it.

Bad (Packers): Discipline, or lack thereof. Eighteen penalties, the most in franchise history. There were so many flags around Monday night it looked like a U.N. meeting (ba-dum-tssh).

Wha' happened?

Calvin Johnson screwed up by not possessing the ball all the way through the process of the catch. Or something.

Seriously, I have no idea what just happened. Have you ever seen a football game more confusing than the Bears' 19-14 win over the Lions? I feel like I just saw Mulholland Drive for the first time. Was it good? Was it terrible? Can you promise me I never have to watch that again?

The happy fan's take: If the Bears are to be a playoff team, they had a few goals to accomplish on Sunday:

1) Dominate both sides of the ball.

Check. They outgained the Lions 463-168. Their average play went for 6.6 yards, while the Lions' went for a pathetic 2.9. The Bears held the Lions to 20 rushing yards on 21 carries.

2) Cutler should have been able to carve up Detroit's secondary.

Check. He threw for 372 yards, more than he amassed in any game last season. He did throw one ill-advised pick, but also had two TDs.

3) Forte needed to show the explosiveness that eluded him last year.

Check. Forte had over 200 total yards, including an 89-yard reception on which he outran several Detroit defenders as he took it the house. Did he leave them in the dust? No, but he found open space, saw the end zone, and got to the end zone. I'm not sure his injured leg would have allowed him to do that last season.

4) Urlacher needed to be the dominant force he once was.

Check. He was flying all over the field, finishing the game with eight tackles and a sack.

The skeptical fan's take: The Bears should be 0-1. Calvin Johnson should file a report with the Chicago Police Department, because he was robbed. The Bears essentially lost a home game to the Detroit Freakin' Lions.

Things that make me angry at life:

1) Shaun Hill essentially led a game-winning drive in the last 1:32. Shaun Hill. Fun facts you may not have known about Shaun Hill:

-He is currently homeless.

-He was signed by the Lions as the result of a clerical error last Friday.

-His father always told him he'd never amount to anything. At the end of each NFL season, he calls him to say "I told you so."

2) Four turnovers. Why do the Bears hate the ball so much? What's so bad about holding the ball? Is it sharp? Is it malodorous? Perhaps it has a tendency to say disrespectful things to those who hold it? Forte let go twice, Olsen once (in the red zone), Cutler once. Oh, and Cutler had a nice little 2009 moment in which he threw down the middle of the field into triple coverage.

3) Nine penalties for 100 yards, including three personal fouls. They were about as disciplined as Mel Gibson drunk at a bar mitzvah.

4) Lovie's decision to go for it on fourth-and-one. Unacceptable. Inexcusable. The Lions had 101 yards of offense to that point and the Bears could have taken a two-point lead and rode their defense to victory. Instead, they tried to "send a message" and ran up the middle for no gain. Apparently the message was: We don't care what the score is because points are just the establishment's way of keeping the proletariat in their place. We scoff at the belief that a team's performance can be judged by the number of points they score in relation to their opponent. Workers of the world, unite!

4) How do you get 463 yards of offense but just 19 points? By going 0-for-4 in the red zone. It was a veritable litany of missed opportunities. A veritable litany.

So, take your pick: The Bears either impressed on both sides of the ball and finished the week tied with the Packers for first, or they got lucky in what should have been an ugly, mistake-ridden loss to Shaun Hill and the Lions. Me? I'll get back to you after Week 2.

Okay everyone, listen up! Who wants to be the Bears' offensive coordinator? (Crickets chirping ...)

The Bears' drawn out search for an offensive coordinator would be comical if it weren't so pathetic (okay, it's still kind of comical). They're now 0-for-5 in the search. That's a golden sombrero plus one. Or a 0.0 quarterback rating. Use whatever analogy you want, it's bad.

Most of the candidates would have been taking a serious promotion had they become the Bears' offensive coordinator. But apparently the idea of working under Lame Duck Lovie and Jerry Angelo, and working with Jay Cutler and the Bears' offense, is not an appealing proposition.

The most recent suitor who did not requite the Bears' love was Ravens quarterbacks coach Hue Jackson. Now this one I don't get. Jackson turned down the Bears' offer to take the same position with the Oakland Raiders. The Oakland Raiders? Are you serious? That's like choosing Hell over purgatory. Sure, purgatory sucks an' all, and it's hard to think of many things worse. But I can think of one: Hell!

Working under Al Davis? The man's 108! (Or 80. One of the two.) They haven't even sniffed a .500 record since their Super Bowl season in 2002. Their head coach, Tom Cable, narrowly avoided assault charges for allegedly striking ... another coach! Their quarterback is Jamarcus Freakin' Russell!

Jay Cutler has issues, but Jackson chose Russell over him? Russell's QB rating this season was 50, the worst of any QB in the NFL. Russell's QB rating this season was 50, the worst of any QB in the NFL. Yes, I know I just repeated that--I wanted to make sure you really let that sink in. The man was benched twice this season. But you know who still loves him? 108-year-old owner Al Davis. Who still owns the team. Whom Hue Jackson will now be working for. (Rumor has it that Jackson might become the head coach instead of Cable, which would be the only semi-logical explanation for Jackson's decision.)

What are the Bears saying in these interviews?

"We really feel that Jay maxed out on his potential this year, and we just need someone to come in and help him maintain his level of performance." And then the candidate runs out of the office with those cartoon smoke trails behind him.

"We fired Ron Turner because someone had to fall on the axe, but we really want someone to come in here and do exactly what he was doing." And then the candidate presses a button and is ejected clear out of Halas Hall, never to be seen again.

The Bears will soon have to turn to a Pop Warner assistant coach to fill the vacant position. And don't forget--there's still that whole defensive coordinator thing after that!

A season of highs and lows, but mostly woes

The Bears were 9-7 in 2008, one win away from a playoff spot. In the offseason they added Jay Cutler, meaning an 10- or 11-win season was pretty much a foregone conclusion.

A 3-1 start that included a win over Pittsburgh and a win at Seattle reaffirmed the high hopes of Bears fans. But then, the proverbial wheels fell off. Any sincere belief that the Bears might make the postseason went out the window with a 41-21 home thrashing at the hands of the Cardinals, and, amazingly, the Bears found a way to go downhill from there.

Wins over the Vikings and Lions turned what could have been a laughable record into a 7-9 finish and another season without a playoff appearance, their third straight since the Super Bowl season.

Here's a look back at what went right and wrong:

OFFENSE

Best thing: Development of the wide receivers

When the season began, the Bears' receiving corps was a gang of nobodies. Devin Hester was still transitioning from punt/kick returner to receiver, Earl Bennett had caught (hold on, let me count: 1, 2, 3 ...) ZERO passes in the NFL, Johnny Knox was a rookie, and Devin Aromashodu was an afterthought.

And while this part of the offense still needs a lot of work (and one or two upgrades), the receivers were more consistent than I would have expected. Hester and Bennett both eclipsed the 700-yard mark, Knox is about as quick as they come, and Aromashodu came on late out of nowhere.

But while the Bears have many needs to address this offseason, adding a big-time receiver is definitely one of them. After all, none of the Bears' receivers cracked the top 45 in receiving yards, and no Bears receiver could muster even half the receiving yards of the NFL's leading receiver, Andre Johnson.

Worst thing: Offensive line

Cutler was sacked 35 times on the season, third-most in the league. Orlando Pace sucked, Olin Kreutz is getting old, and the rest of the line routinely invited defenders into the pocket for a nice little snack--er, sack. For all the attention given to the skill players in football, it's amazing how many wins and losses come down to the front lines. And the Bears simply didn't have an offensive line that could open holes for the running game, protect Cutler, and enable the Bears to win consistently.

Dishonorable mentions: Jay Cutler's interceptions, Matt Forte's dropoff, Greg Olsen's disappointing year

DEFENSE

Best thing: Lance Briggs

His 118 tackles were good for 15th in the league. He didn't get a ton of credit because the "D" was so bad overall, but he had a solid season.

Honorable mentions: Experience for guys like Nick Roach and Jamar Williams, Zack Bowman's six picks

Worst thing: Rush defense

Are you kidding me? 23rd in rush yards allowed? 126 yards per game? Remember when the Bears would shut down the run? When they were tough, and mean, and would hit you in the mouth if you tried to run up the middle? If you do remember that, your memory goes back at least a year. Because this season, teams ran at will against this front seven.

Dishonorable mentions: Turnover differential (-8), Pass rush

SPECIAL TEAMS

Best thing: Brad Maynard

He averaged 41.4 yards per punt, fourth in the NFL. Strangely, some of the best punters were on the worst teams, including Buffalo's Brian Moorman, Cleveland's Dave Zastudil, and Oakland's Shane Lechler, who broke his own single-season net punting average record.

Honorable mentions: Robbie Gould, Knox's kick return average (2nd in NFL)

Worst thing: Devin Hester's punt returns

Though Hester had a decent year as a receiver, the coaching staff is not yet off the hook for asking him to no longer focus on a task that he could do better than anyone else in the league at one point. He averaged only 7.8 yards per punt return in '09, just above Bobby Wade of the Chiefs and just below Chris Carr of the Ravens. Yeah, exactly.

Dishonorable mention: Kick coverage

OVERALL SEASON

Best thing: Cutler's strong finish

The Bears have a lot of holes to fill and a lot of problems. And while Cutler's interceptions (he led the league) and inconsistency are on the list of problems, there's no doubt that he is the centerpiece of the Bears' future, both because of his potential and because of the contract extension he signed during the season.

You can blame the line, you can blame the receivers, and rightly so. But Cutler deserves part of the blame as well. For much of the season, he played--simply put--badly. I would have to imagine that even he would admit as much.

That he was able to finish the season with two nearly identical--and solid--performances should bode well for his confidence heading into 2010. He needs to Matrix the memory of 2009 from his brain and hopefully be left only with the taste of those final two games. For the Bears to be successful next season, they'll need a better Jay Cutler.

Worst thing: The win over the Vikings

Hey, don't get me wrong. While in the broad sense the win meant nothing, it may have been the victory I enjoyed most all season. But 6-10 sounds a lot worse than 7-9, and that slight difference in record may have changed Angelo's answer to the question, "Should he stay or should he go?" Lovie will be back next year, though several of their coaches were axed and Lovie will no longer serve as defensive coordinator. Ron Turner got the boot as well.

With Bill Cowher seemingly out there for the taking, it disappoints me that an overtime win against the Vikings might have saved Lovie's job. Cowher was reportedly interested in coaching the Bears, but was then linked to a few other teams. But Black Monday turned into Light Gray Monday, with only the Redskins' Jim Zorn getting fired. With no job opening in Carolina, Tampa, or almost anywhere else at the moment, Cowher may not coach in 2010 after all (though some reports say he could be lured to Buffalo).

Perhaps Cowher will do TV for another year and the Bears will have another crack at him. But as far as I'm concerned, it's unfortunate that Angelo and Lovie will be calling the shots again next year, perhaps in large part because of a meaningless (though exciting) win.

Chicago rumors

If the Bears do decide to axe Lovie, I hope they move quickly. ESPN reports that Bill Cowher is likely to coach in 2010, and has already been mentioned in connection with potential job openings in Carolina and Tampa Bay.

While Mike Shanahan was rumored to have interest in a potential Bears job, ESPN's Adam Schefter recently tweeted: "Despite speculation to contrary, Mike Shanahan will not wind up coaching Chicago nor Houston. Too much respect for Lovie and (Gary) Kubiak.''

I'm not sure that "respect" precludes you from succeeding a fellow coach, but this would be disappointing if true. Either way, it seems likely that the Bears would have better coaching options this offseason than next. But those options could start to dwindle shortly after the season's end.

Fernando Who?

Phil Rogers suggests that the Cubs could look at the Rays' Fernando Perez to fill their center field void. The move would certainly be a gamble, as Perez played just 18 games last year to the tune of a .206 average.

Meanwhile, Bleed Cubbie Blue prefers a Reed Johnson/Sam Fuld platoon. I'm not necessarily sold on Fuld from an offensive standpoint, but I wouldn't mind seeing Reed Johnson as part of the solution. I will say that Johnson and Fuld in center with Fukudome in right would significantly improve the Cubs' outfield defense over last year.

Vinny survived Christmas; what about New Year's?

ESPN indicates that the Bulls have already decided to fire Coach Vinny Del Negro, but would like to have a replacement in place before making it official.

Not only would a new coach still have time to turn this into a respectable season, but he'd have the opportunity to build a reputation in the hopes of luring some of the big-time free agents due to hit the market this summer. The Bulls will have more cap space than almost any other team this offseason.

Hopefully Paxson will be able to snag a coach who already has a reputation, though, such as Avery Johnson, as opposed to another guy who has never coached a game in his life.

A Bears win is pretty Favre-fetched

I am not happy, and I'll tell you why.

The wheels appear to be coming off in Minnesota. Or at least, the tires have lost a significant amount of tread. Favre's calling audibles for himself against Coach Brad Childress's wishes; Childress is apparently unleashing expletive-laden tirades at Favre; and the team has lost two of three, including a blowout against Carolina.

All that makes me very, very happy. So why am I so upset? Because the Vikings get to lick their wounds against the Bears.

The fact that everything seems to be spinning out of control up north, that a circus appears to be forming in the Metrodome, is like chicken soup on a cold night--it warms me and gives me strength. Could Favre's selfishness really end up at the core of a quick playoff exit for the Vikings? (Along with a sprinkle of arrogance from Brad Childress.) The possibility makes me positively giddy.

While I was clearly wrong about them finishing 9-7, I did say prior to the season:

Will Favre be able to handle playing second fiddle to the running back all season? Can the primo primadonna of sports take the back seat? Not to mention there have already been stories about Favre not fitting in in the locker room.

But while this train appears to be coming off the tracks, it's likely to be running smoothly once again after a matchup with the Bears on Monday night. If only the Vikings could have played two respectable teams to close out the season, they might have continued to slide, and perhaps even fallen to the three (or even four!) seed. But instead, they get the woeful Bears and an opportunity to right the ship. (And yes, I realize I have referred to the Vikings as a car, a train, and a ship in this post.)

I think Lovie's probably going to be fired after the season no matter what, but a surprising win over the division-leading Vikings could do wonders for his future in Chicago. Can the Bears rise to the occasion?

KEYS TO THE GAME

Mother Nature. As of today, it's not supposed to be that bad Monday night. But it could snow Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and be in the 20s during the game. Seems likely the weather will play a role in a late December night game in Chicago.

Early momentum. The story leading into the game will be the tension between Favre and Childress and Minnesota's recent struggles. The first quarter has been a problem for the Bears all year, but if they can score first and play well early, the pressure will fall squarely on the Vikings.

That word that starts with an "I" and ends with the other team having the ball. Benjamin Franklin once said, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." I'm not sure how many times I've pleaded for Cutler to cut down on the picks, but I'm not insane--while I beg Cutler to be careful with the ball, I don't actually expect it to happen.

Back to your regularly scheduled blowout

Week 15: Ravens 31, Bears 7


Did you happen to see the Panthers dominate the Vikings on Sunday night? Or the Raiders put together a last-minute drive to beat the Broncos in Denver? Or Tampa Bay getting their second win by pasting the Seahawks? Did you see the Lions put up a helluva fight against the Cardinals?

I just wanted to make sure you were aware that sometimes even bad teams can beat good ones. Any given Sunday, and all that. You show up, you play hard, and you never know.

Unfortunately, the Bears know how to show up, but they can't seem to figure out the whole "play hard" thing. Which means we Bears fans always know that a loss is on the horizon when the Ravens or the Bengals or the Cardinals are on the same field.

The team had to battle a blizzard just to get to Baltimore. Turns out they should have called Roger Goodell and asked for a snow day. After all, I'm pretty sure Jay Cutler has two eyes made out of coal after watching him throw three more interceptions. When Cutler scrambled for 13 yards and a first down early in the second quarter, I thought, "Oh, I get it now! Cutler should have been a running back!" How did it take us all so long to see it? He can't throw for s**t, but the man can run!

Despite committing to the air attack because they were trailing the entire game, Cutler failed to throw for 100 yards. And keep in mind that the measly seven points they put on the board were the result of Earl Bennett's punt return, not the offense.

Cutler wasn't the only one to blame. I can't help but think that the rest of the players have twigs for hands, because they put the ball on the turf twice. That's six turnovers in all, folks! On the bright side, Cutler's QB rating was higher than the number of turnovers the Bears had (but only by 1.9).

I must say, the Bears have this "turnover" thing down pat. Hopefully that will bode well as the McCaskeys consider the massive turnover that needs to take place in the upper ranks of the organization. Lovie must feel like his nuts are roasting on an open fire after Jerry Angelo said Sunday that he doesn't "look at money in those times," referring to the $11 million that would be owed Lovie if he were shown the door. "It's not about money. It's about doing what we need to do to be a good football team."

One can only hope the McCaskeys take Angelo's words to heart, and that they see Angelo as part of the problem as well. And, of course, Ron Turner needs to go, too, if for no other reason than because he called some sort of fade-like pass to Greg Olsen on fourth-and-goal from the two.

For Christmas, I would have taken some glimmer of hope that the Bears could at some point step up, play a solid game, and play with one of the better teams in the league. Not even that they would actually do it, just the ability to hope that they would. But since that's not going to happen, I'll settle for the second thing on my list: on Lovie, on Dasher, on Dancer and Prancer; on Ronnie (Turner), on Vixen, on Comet and Cupid; on Jerry (Angelo), on Donner, on Blitzen and Rudolph! And don't come back!

Send 'em packing

Week 14: Packers 21, Bears 14

Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

In many respects, the Bears and Packers played very similarly on Sunday. Sixteen first downs for Green Bay, fourteen for the Bears. Third down conversions? Both teams were 5-for-13. The Packers ran just one more play than the Bears. They both had two turnovers. Etc.

But in the end, the Packers showed why they're a team that wins, and the Bears showed why they're a team that loses.

Ahead by a point in the final quarter, Jay Cutler busted out the cutlery we're all so familiar with, slicing and dicing the Bears' chances of winning by throwing a pick on the left sideline. The turnover shifted the momentum as well as the lead as it led to a Packers touchdown and two-point conversion.

But there were still over 12 minutes on the clock. Plenty of time. The Bears got a first down thanks to a Green Bay penalty, but could make nothing of it. And then a "hold," as Mason Crosby missed a makeable field goal. Bears got it back, but a 15-yard facemask penalty on offense stopped that drive almost before it started. Bears eventually got the ball back again. And then on 4th-and-4, a false start on Olin Kreutz. Kreutz was on the receiving end of some s**t-talking in the week leading up to the game, and his penalty was just the icing on the Bears' giant penalty cake, a dessert which they ate with great rapaciousness all game long.

In all, the Bears were flagged for 13 penalties totaling 109 yards. 109 yards! They ran for 59 yards and were penalized for 109. These guys are as disciplined as Tiger Woods in a champagne room.

What's frustrating is that the Bears actually had a chance to win this one. When's the last time they had momentum in the fourth quarter against a quality team? They had a golden opportunity to take down their rival and put a dent in their playoff hopes.

But the penalties just killed them. And they have all season. This is one reason the organization has to think seriously about going in a new direction with their head coach.

But here's the biggest reason: some coaches are under fire despite having had little time to implement their system (e.g. Eric Mangini and Raheem Morris). Other coaches are on the hot seat because of a quick and unexpected dropoff (e.g. John Fox and Jeff Fisher). But Lovie doesn't fit in either of these camps. Rather, Lovie has been around since 2004, has had time to implement his system, and has seen a carousel of coaches roam the sideline with him. And yet, the Bears are consistently getting worse. They've followed up their Super Bowl season with a 7-9 campaign, then a 9-7 one, and now they'll be 8-8 at best, but likely 6-10. This will be the third straight year the Bears have missed the playoffs. Lovie is fond of saying that the Bears "get off the bus running." Right now, the bus he's driving is going downhill fast, and the brakes are out.

Having said that, I also think Lovie is working with limited talent. GM Jerry Angelo's draft picks have been horrendous, and I believe he needs to go as well. There may not be a better example in the NFL of a team that needs to make wholesale changes. Some teams need a new guy in the front office, others need a new guy calling the shots, and still others are just a player or two away from a breakout season. The Bears, on the other hand, need to break out the vacuum and the Pledge and clean house. Their GM and coach have had years to make their mark, and the team seems to be floating out to sea ever since the Super Bowl season.

Gateway to a win?

The Rams are 1-19 in their last 20 games; their one win was a seven-point victory over the Lions five weeks ago. When they've taken the field this year, they've lost by an average of 15 points, a result of the fact that they have scored the third-fewest points in the league and allowed the third-most.

While most people believe Lovie Smith's job is safe if for no other reason than the fact that Jerry Angelo would have to pay him a pretty penny just to fire him, I think there are two games left on the schedule that could cost him his job: this Sunday's, and the season finale against Detroit. If Lovie can't motivate the Blue and Orange to make the Rams black and blue, then he may get that pink slip after all.

The Bears trounced the Rams last year, winning 27-3 behind Matt Forte's 139 yards on the ground. In fact, the Bears racked up 208 total rushing yards in that game. This is a problem the Rams have yet to correct--they allow just a shade under 150 rushing yards per game this year.

There aren't a lot of positive things to say about this year's Bears, but here's one: when they've played the patsies of the league, they've taken care of business. They doubled up the Lions 48-24 and slaughtered the Browns 30-6. Well, Bears, you get another chance this Sunday. It's time to batter the Rams.

KEYS TO THE GAME

Just put all 11 men in the box. Because Steven Jackson is freakin' ridiculous. He has rushed for 1,000+ yards every year since 2005 despite being on several awful, awful Rams teams. Can you imagine if this guy had an offensive line and a quarterback? He's already eclipsed the 1,000 yard mark this year, and is second only to the Titans' Chris Johnson on the rushing leaderboard. But at least you can afford to devote pretty much all your defensive attention to him, because ...

Kyle Boller sucks. I suppose it's not really fair to call that a "key to the game," but it doesn't make it untrue. Boller didn't play at all in '08, but has been called upon here in '09 because Marc Bulger broke his leg. He actually played respectably last week, but threw one interception that was returned for a TD and another in the end zone (remind you of anyone?). Add in the fact that the Rams' best receiver is some guy named Donnie Avery, and you have a recipe for focusing entirely on Steven Jackson. Seriously, don't even bother to look at anyone else. Just go tackle Jackson whether he has the ball or not.

Trickeration. Watch for it on both sides of the ball. The Rams have nothing to lose while the Bears have finally reached the official point of "We're not going anywhere this year." That's a recipe for onside kicks, double reverses, and other things that drive you nuts if you bet on the spread.

Get off the schnide. Another sad excuse for a "key to the game," but it provides me a means through which I can tell you that the Bears have lost four straight and are trying to avoid losing five straight for the first time since 2002. For Christ's sake, have some respect and get a win already.

Where'd he come from?

QB Kyle Boller, California
RB Steven Jackson, Oregon State
DE James Hall, Michigan

Deep-sixed

Week 10: 49ers 10, Bears 6


The Bears brought in Jay Cutler so he could fling the ball around and do things we're not used to seeing Bears quarterbacks do.

He did just that on Thursday, but not in the way Jerry Angelo had hoped. Five interceptions, including two in the red zone and one with a chance to win the game. A 33.6 QB rating. He was King Midas's evil twin--everything he touched turned to s**t.

We just turned the clocks back, but the Bears are turning them forward--as far as they're concerned, it's 2010. If you lose to the Bengals and Cardinals by a combined score of 86-31 and can't score a touchdown against the 49ers, your season is over. Many people aren't aware of that rule, but it's a rule.

Remember a few years ago when it was the Bears who would win the coin toss and defer so that their defense could go to work? Thursday it was the Niners deferring so they could get an early start on eating Jay Cutler for dinner. They hit him six times and had him running frantically from the pocket all night.

And why not come after him? Forte had another forgettable performance with 41 yards on 20 carries. The only glimmer of hope on the ground was early in the second quarter when the Bears had a 2nd-and-10. Forte hit a hole (he had a hole?!) and then bounced off a tackler (he bounced off a tackler?!) and then made a move (he made a ... a move?! like a ... like a juke?!) to pick up 16 yards (sixteen yards?!). We've seen that far too rarely this season. The next play looked more familiar: he went up the middle and got swallowed up for no gain.

And he repeated that play time and time again, averaging just 2.1 yards per carry and having essentially no impact on the game.

But I haven't even mentioned the most frustrating thing of all: penalties. The Bears came into last night's game averaging 54 penalty yards per game, which ranks 25th in the NFL. They're not even as disciplined as the Raiders. The Raiders pretty much always play like a prison intramural team, and yet the Bears have significantly more penalty yards than they do.

And that was before the Bears racked up 77 yards of additional flaggage last night. Lovie's got some 'splainin' to do, because a lack of focus and a lack of discipline are unacceptable. This team appears to have very little interest in winning football games. The good news is that they have seven more games to figure out how to change that before the 2010 season begins.

What can the Browns do for you? Provide a tuneup.

Week 8: Bears 30, Browns 6


Watching the Bears play the Browns is sort of like being handed a cheat sheet of mathematical equations as you prepare for an English exam--you don't learn a whole lot from it. It was something of a no-win situation for the Bears, playing a team they were supposed to beat by two touchdowns. But they got a win nonetheless.

They certainly didn't look very good doing it. Or at least, the offense didn't. The Bears continued to confuse the red zone for a red light. Does Jay Cutler have Robbie Gould on his fantasy team or something?

Cutler seems to be throwing the ball with his eyes closed. Granted he was running for his life for much of the game, but even when he had time to throw, he looked like his radar was jammed. Did the ball not have enough air in it? Too much air? Did it not have laces on it? He's now thrown as many interceptions (11) as touchdowns this season. He was also sacked four times by a bad Browns defense, partly because the offensive line didn't ... whattaya call it ... block anyone, and partly because he refused to get rid of the ball when he was pressured.

The biggest bright spot for me was Devin Hester. He had 81 yards receiving and continues to develop as a legitimate threat at the wide receiver position. I still don't think he's a #1 type receiver, but it's nice to see him coming along.

On the other side of the ball, the defense was dominant. Granted, it was against a team that practically sends Evites to upcoming opponents, subject line "Would you like to be dominant this Sunday?" I mentioned in the preview that the Bears needed to keep Derek Anderson to a QB rating below 80 just to save face. Mission accomplished--he finished with a rating of 10.5 and was so bad that he was replaced by Brady Quinn.

The "D" also forced five turnovers, putting the Bears at -1 in turnovers this year. That statistic will need to keep trending in a positive direction if the Bears are going to keep winning.

It wasn't the prettiest win the Bears have ever had, but it was a 24-point thrashing nonetheless. A solid practice game as the Bears prepare for a real match-up against the Cardinals, who, like the Bears, are 4-3. Though Arizona leads the NFC West for the time being, this Sunday's game could have Wild Card implications when all is said and done. (I'm not giving up on the division, especially with two games remaining against the Vikings, but it's worth looking at the Wild Card after Minnesota picked up their seventh victory yesterday.)

Rock Cleveland!

The Cleveland Browns are bad. They've scored the third-fewest points in the league and allowed the sixth-most. They've lost three games by more than 20 points. Their fans are even planning a protest for their Monday night game against the Ravens. Bad, bad, bad.

Which is why it's sad, sad, sad that Bears fans have no choice but to get jazzed up for this game given that it means either rising above .500 or falling below it. And it's even sadder that there's at least a tiny little touch of trepidation heading into the game. I mean, if they can lose 45-10--allowing six TDs and a field goal in the Bengals' first seven drives--then they can lose to pretty much anyone, right?

I don't know, but I sure hope not. You should feel better knowing that it's entirely possible that my inability to watch any of last week's game led to the poor performance (I was in airports all day). And even though I have to travel again this Sunday, I booked a 6 a.m. flight just so I could catch all the action. So let's hope my return to sitting in front of the TV with an icy cold beverage corresponds to a return to normalcy in the Land of Lovie.

KEYS TO THE GAME

Confidence and aggression. The Bears have more talent than the Browns on both sides of the ball (as does, you know, your local Pee Wee squad), and they need to come out looking to punish them, not tippy toeing around and scared because of last week's beat down. Someone must pay for last week's tragedy, and I don't see why it shouldn't be the Browns.

Get after the "quarterback." I put "quarterback" in quotes because ohmygod Derek Anderson is so bad. With Brady Quinn as their other option, it's "trick or trick" for Eric Mangini. Not to mention their O-line sucks, having allowed at least one sack in every game this year. But back to Derek Anderson: he is avert-your-eyes, hide-the-children, is-there-a-bucket-nearby-I'm-not-going-to-make-it-to-the-bathroom-in-time bad. If he finishes this game with a QB rating over 80, someone on the Bears' coaching staff should be fired. I nominate Everyone.

Turnovers. If the Bears can maintain their grip on the ball and Cutler can keep from throwing it into the hands of Cleveland's defenders, the game should be a cakewalk. They can't let them hang around by giving them free possessions.

Kick/punt coverage. The Browns' biggest weapon is return man Josh Cribbs. He has the most return yards of anyone in the league to go along with one kick return TD and one punt return TD. Gotta contain him.

Where'd he come from?

QB Derek Anderson, Oregon State
RB Jamal Lewis, Tennessee
WR Josh Cribbs, Kent State
WR Mohamed Massaquoi, Georgia

Hard to bear

Week 7: Bengals 45, Bears 10


Two weeks ago, the Bears were The Team that Was Overcoming Injuries and Finding Ways to Win Games. Today, they're football's version of the Titanic.

Such is life in the NFL. With only 16 games on the schedule, every game can cause a rather seismic shift in the standings. We knew we'd know a lot more about the Bears after back-to-back road games against good teams. It turns out that ignorance was bliss.

There is literally not one statistic that Bears fans can look to in order to feel better about Sunday's performance. Um, Devin Hester had over 100 yards receiving? (Yeah, but he had a fumble, too.) Uh, Johnny Knox had a nice day returning kicks? (He sure had a lot of opportunities.)

Yeah, it was ugly. The season will turn into a complete brownout if they can't beat a terrible Cleveland team this Sunday. Either the Packers or Vikings will lose since they'll be playing one another. So let's forget about the bungled game against the Bengals and know that we should be feeling at least a little better one week from today.

Bears look to earn their stripes against Bengals

I don't know if you can have a must-win game when it's Week 7 and you're over .500. But if you can, then the Bears find themselves in that situation this Sunday in Cincinnati.

After all, a loss could send them tumbling to as many as 4.5 games behind the Vikings. And with the Packers likely to stomp on the Browns, the Bears could find themselves in third place in the NFC North. As in, they'd only be ahead of the Lions. As in, uh-oh. While bigger comebacks have surely occurred, a loss this weekend would likely leave the Bears shopping for Wild Card costumes come Halloween.

The Bengals were the "other" surprise team through Week 5 (the Broncos being THE surprise team), scoring wins against the Steelers and Ravens to take over first place in the AFC North. But just when you thought they were going on a Gus Johnson-announced ride to glory, they got beat up by the Texans in a 28-17 home loss. That made them 1-2 at home (compared to 3-0 on the road), which is either a reason for Bears fans to be optimistic, or a reason for them to be extremely fearful given that good teams don't typically lose consistently on their home field.

Keys to the Game

Defensive ends, coming and going. The Bengals' sack leader, Antwon Odom, is going. As in, going on the IR due to a season-ending injury. That should help limit Cincinnati's pash rush. For the Bears, newly acquired Gaines Adams will see action for the first time. He'll get into the rotation at defensive end, meaning Mark Anderson will play fewer snaps. Nice to have some additional depth on the defensive line, since Tommie Harris is unlikely to play.

Slowing down Benson and his bruised ego. Cedric Benson is amped up to face his former team, as evidenced by the shots he's taken at the organization this week. He's piled up the third-most rushing yards in the league to this point, and it could be a bad day for the Bears if they allow him to get his legs moving as fast as his mouth.

Pressure Palmer. You may have noticed that the Bears didn't sack Matt Ryan in last week's loss. But did you realize they didn't even hit him? That's right, not one hit on the opposing QB. Lovie Smith admitted at halftime that he was caught off guard by the hurry-up offense. He admitted after the game that he was caught off guard by Matt Ryan not having two flags hanging from his belt.

R-U-N-N-I-N-G G-A-M-E. I don't care. I don't care if I've said it every week, I'm just going to keep saying it until Matt Forte runs for more than 12 yards. Do I have to spell out the importance of Cutler not having to throw for 300 yards every single week? Because I just did. I literally spelled it out. And Lovie should get Wolfe in there a little more if Forte continues to struggle.

Where'd he come from?

QB Carson Palmer, USC
RB Cedric Benson, Texas
WR Chad Ochocinco, Oregon State
LB Dhani Jones, Michigan
CB Leon Hall, Michigan
CB Morgan Trent, Michigan
S Tom Nelson, Illinois State

Zoned out

Week 6: Falcons 21, Bears 14


It's fitting that Matt Ryan made his living Sunday night by throwing repeatedly into the flat, because the Bears looked awfully flat themselves.

Despite having a bye week to prepare for the Falcons, the Bears couldn't run, couldn't tackle, couldn't cover anyone, and couldn't hold on to the ball in a game that had Wild Card implications written all over it.

But more important than all of that, they couldn't produce in the red zone. The Bears were 1-for-4 in the red zone while the Falcons were 2-for-2. Just as many baseball games come down to hitting with runners in scoring position, this entire game came down to red zone performance. Though the Bears played the Falcons close and lost by just a touchdown, the fact that they had a fumble, an interception, and several killer penalties in the red zone makes the seven-point loss harder to stomach than the swine flu.

The Bears played ugly, plain and simple. There was no positive aura, no real glimmer of hope that the Bears would find redemption in the Georgia Dome. From the middle of the second quarter, it had the look and feel of a disappointing loss, and that's exactly what it turned out to be.

I'm ready to ask the question: Is Matt Forte hurt? That's about the most optimistic way to look at his body of work this year. Remember, he did hurt his left hamstring in the preseason. And here's where the Bears' five opponents have ranked in rush defense: 2, 17, 20, 21, 24. Three of the five teams don't crack the top 20. And this despite the fact that playing the Bears allows pretty much any team to pad this particular statistic given that they rank 27th in the NFL in rush yards per game.

Every time Forte gets the ball, he looks like a fish entering shark's territory--he just gets swallowed up. No doubt the offensive line is partly to blame, but both Garrett Wolfe and Adrian Peterson are averaging significantly more yards per carry than he is. And on top of it all, Forte fumbled on back-to-back plays at the goal line Sunday night. He had 23 yards on 15 carries overall. You know who had more rushing yards than that? Jay Cutler.

This was the Bears' second loss of the season, and the second on Sunday night. Prior to this season, Lovie Smith was 7-2 on SNF. But the Bears have run from the bright lights like cockroaches this year. Hey, at least they're running in that metaphor!

The Bears have dug themselves a deep divisional hole thanks to a 33-31 Vikings victory over the Ravens. They're 2.5 games out and find themselves even with the Packers. But the Vikes head to Pittsburgh next week and then clash with the Packers in Week 8. The Bears will head to Cincinnati next Sunday, and I leave you with good news: it's not a night game.

A prime time for some payback

3-1 vs. 3-1. The Bears have 105 points on the year, the Falcons 102. Both teams are 2-0 at home and 1-1 on the road. Michael Turner is averaging 3.8 yards per carry, Matt Forte 3.7. Do you think it's fair to say that Sunday's Bears-Falcons match-up will be a battle of evenly matched teams?

And because they're so evenly matched, the game gives the Bears a chance to show a prime time audience what they're truly made of. As a Bears fan, 3-1 sounds and feels great. But there's no question there are still some question marks surrounding this team. Two of their wins could have been losses were it not for inaccurate field goal attempts. And just as I still have reservations about the Vikings due to the fact that they've beaten the Lions, Browns and Rams for three of their five victories, the Bears' most recent victory over the Lions isn't exactly proof positive that they're on a direct path to the Super Bowl.

But with road games against the Falcons and the surprising Bengals on tap, we'll know a lot more about the Bears nine days from now. Lovie Smith has had nearly two weeks to prepare for this revenge game, and he should be able to add Pisa Tinoisamoa back into the mix--Hunter Hillenmeyer and Adrian Peterson are still doubtful.

Keys to the Game

Roddy White. The 5th year receiver didn't do much in the first three games, but his 210-yard explosion last week has him ranked 8th in the league with 82 receiving yards per game. Plus, he burned the Bears for 112 yards in last year's last-second stunner. It could be a long day for the Bears secondary if they allow White and Matt Ryan to get into a groove.

The middle of the field. Atlanta has allowed just three receiving touchdowns on the year, the Bears just four. With each team's secondary playing well, both Ryan and Cutler may find themselves looking for their tight ends. Former Chief Tony Gonzalez is playing well in Atlanta while Greg Olsen has yet to eclipse 100 total receiving yards on the season. The Bears need to keep Gonzalez in check and can expand Cutler's arsenal if they can get Olsen going.

Keep the running game going. Forte finally broke through two weeks ago against the Lions with 121 yards rushing. And while I sound like a broken record talking about the importance of the ground game, Atlanta ranks in the bottom third in run defense for the third consecutive season; the Bears need to take advantage of this weakness.

A quick start. The Bears have been outscored 34-7 in the first quarter this year. They've been able to come back and win three times, but that task would be significantly tougher against the Falcons in the Georgia Dome. It's going to be important to be in it from the start on Sunday night (btw: how weird is it that the Bears have played only one noon game this year, and play another 3:15 game next week?).

Where'd he come from?

QB Matt Ryan, Boston College
RB Michael Turner, Northern Illinois
WR Roddy White, UAB
TE Tony Gonzalez, Cal

Not half bad

Week 4: Bears 48, Lions 24


The 2009 Chicago Bears: Better Late Than Never.

Perhaps Lovie Smith will adopt that slogan after yet another slow start and fast finish by the Bears. At halftime, Lovie found himself in the locker room locked in a 21-21 tie with a team that appeared to believe in itself after finally breaking a ridiculous losing streak last week.

But the Bears must have a patent pending on second half domination--they've outscored their opponent in the second half of every game so far this season. 13-11 in Green Bay, albeit in a losing effort. 10-7 against Pittsburgh to eke out a victory. 18-6 in Seattle to flip the script on the Seahawks. And 27-3 against the Lions to turn a close game into a "Hey, flip over to the RedZone channel" game.

The 48 points they scored were the most since last October when they beat Minnesota 48-41. It was a sneaky 48 points, if there is such a thing. Cutler ran for one TD--check that, went spinning through the air a la John Elway for a TD--and threw for two more, both to tight ends. Forte had a long TD run and Garrett Wolfe had a short one. And Johnny Knox showed off his lightning speed with a one-move-and-gone kickoff return for another score. Gould added two field goals, and that was that, nearly a half Benjamin worth of points.

You would certainly expect Cutler to have had more than 141 yards through the air, but it was Forte putting up the numbers: 121 yards on just 12 carries, finally breaking into triple digits on the ground. And though the defense did allow 24 points, they forced two turnovers and put Stafford on the ground so many times, the Soldier Field grounds crew probably approached him after the game to get his thoughts on the new grass. Five sacks in all for the Bears, with half of those coming from Adewale Ogunleye.

While the second half is the sole property of the Chicago Bears Football Club, Inc., the team does still have a strained relationship with the first quarter. Though they managed to put up points in the opening period for the first time all season, they let the Lions put together two long touchdown drives to open the game, sandwiched around Cutler's impressive all-out leap into the end zone. Zack Bowman got owned multiple times in the first quarter, and the Bears' blitzes were getting picked up faster than Lindsay Lohan at a night club.

But if you're going to pick a half to excel, pick the second one. That's just what the Bears have done through the first quarter of the season, and a solid 3-1 start has them feeling good heading into the bye week. They could pull into a tie with the Vikings (and Packers) if Green Bay ends up on the winning end tonight. Tonight will likely be the most I'll ever root for the Packers. I'd like to see them win for the aforementioned reason that it will help the Bears, and though I'm of course no Packer backer, I really wouldn't mind seeing them put a whoopin' on Brett Favre and make him wish he'd stayed retired.